The goddesses kinda smiled on this one; after I made a quick beat, I started yanking random snippets from a recent upload by Sha, and it seemed like every one of them fit the key and fell into a nice little spot, even when I reversed one of them.

The gist of the concept is that we start with a pretty dry retro 606 beat, and add stuff to it until it sounds .. well, not modern exactly, but it brings it up into the mid-90s I think.